Chaos

I am obsessive compulsive about organizing my life from  my wardrobe to my relationships, to my living and working spaces. I need order to feel in control. I need to feel in control because my life is so chaotic with my parents drug/acohol addictions, and my lack of control in what that coward did to me. And as a result I have sought out ways of punishing myself through control, anorexia and cutting… Yet, it is in my work, what I enjoy doing most, that I let a little of the control go for a mere fraction of a second,  letting a mechanical device do the work. I let a little of the burden go, and in doing so, my subject matter has reflected that which lacks control in itself.

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